Children are a gift from the LORD; they are a reward from Him. Psalm 127:3

Courtesy warning: Sometimes I share too much. For some reason my brain doesn't sensor what might be inappropriate when it comes to poop... And there will be poop!

"Children are a gift from the LORD; they are a reward from Him" Psalm 127:3 (NLT)

Psalm 127:3 is a beautiful verse. It is a verse I think about as I see my precious children sleeping or as I get snuggle time with them. The moments my heart is so overflowing with love and joy I could weep.

And then there are days like yesterday. Days where I'm not sure I can handle God's rewards. Days where you do NOT pray for patience or blessings because you fear the vehicle they will be delivered in...

Sunday I had a migraine~ when I say I have a migraine it's not some little wussy headache, it's "I want to puke and die in a cool, quiet, dark cave" The kind where you know your life must be over. There are fireworks and dancing spots... I slept terrible and woke up several times during the night. Before leaving for work, Hubs brought Chica Baby in our bed, which means even less sleep for me.

Monday morning finally came. I did what I could for the headache; I pounded the water, Tylenol, caffeine, and ate a can of mushrooms. (Potassium people! We were out of bananas.)  We had some where that we needed to go, so I needed to kick this thing. God took the headache away for the morning, so we did our running around.

Nap time finally came and with it, my headache. Again I did what I could, then laid down for a nap... Hubs got home from work and woke me up... It was 5:30!! Typically Optimistic Jessie would say "Wonderful! The kiddos let me sleep! Now we can stay up late and have a pj party"... However this was a pessimistic kind of day. I grumbled about my headache and the spinning sensations. I grumbled about the fact that supper still needed to be made. I grumbled about how the kiddos were going to be up all night and I was ready for bed time.
Hubs was hungry and had a migraine. Bug was "staw-veen!!" (starving) and needed a cookie. PB and J sandwiches for the kiddos and chicken for Hubs and I.

Here is where things go down hill fast.

I let Wrigley The Dog out and with him, Mayhem The Cat. Mayhem is a super stealth, indoor, all black, ninja cat. I am in a short skirt, (short as in it shows my knees~ no booty hanging out for this mama!) a sleeveless shirt, and no shoes. It was cold out, my head was pounding, but I chased that darn cat until I thought I would pass out. Shivering, I headed back inside. Shot up a prayer for safety and a quick return.

8pm finally rolls around. Hubs is asleep on the couch and Chica is close to it. Bug and Wee-Wum are still wired and ready for an all-nighter... Hubs puts Chica to bed, lets me know that Wee smells funny, and heads to bed himself.

There is something you should know about my baby. He will go for a few days without pooping. (We are working on a formula mix to help him gain weight and still poop.) You would be amazed at what this kid can hold in him. He had a "big poop" earlier, so I wasn't too worried. I noticed he was still grunting, so I wasn't going to change him mid-poop. Instead I decided to find Mayhem. I call out the door and make kiss noises. Send out the dog to find the cat... Nothing. Since we have a slider in the office, I sit at the computer to wait for Mayhem to come back. Bug happily watched Veggie Tales and danced off some energy. Remember how Wee was starting to stink? Weeelllllll... I didn't...

Wee started to fuss, reminding me that he was sitting in stink. I lift him out of his highchair... Greenish, liquid poo that smelled like rotten eggs and burned my nostrils started dripping from the side of his diaper (to all you wondering, he was wearing a disposable)... In a panic, I set him back down, right into the nasty goo all over the highchair. Wee started to scream his protest, Bug yelled at Wee for making so much noise, then at me because his buddy was mad... My pounding head tried to figure out what to do. Towels! I ran to the bathroom, grabbed some towels and then wrapped Wee up in the towels until I was sure he wouldn't leak all over my floors.
I lay him on the changing table and take off the useless diaper. I go to grab the wipes...
We were out of wipes.

(Note: there are some not so good mothering techniques on here... Before you go hating, just keep in mind I NEVER do this!!)

I re-wrapped Wee so that he couldn't move and opened the top drawer of the changing table~ just in case.
We keep all of the extra wipes in the closet, so I quickly opened it to grab some more...
They were gone.
AAHHHGGG!!!!! I have an unopened box of wipes from Costco. Thank you Lord!! I ripped those open and finally got some wipes. I got back to a very angry Wee-Wum. At this point liquid poo is all over the towel, all over the changing mat, up his back, and on his feet (??). Clearly this is not the job for wipes. I quickly debate just sticking the kid in the toilet, but decided it would be a bad idea. (Bug was following me around and I'm sure he would try to do the same thing if he saw me do it...)
God, in His graceful timing, calmed Wee down, distracted Bug, and helped me focus enough to clean up the baby. Once all wiped down, I put Wee in his swing and went to check the damage done on the highchair.

We have a space saver highchair, so it is strapped to a regular kitchen chair. The liquid gross was dripping to the under part of the highchair, but hadn't reached the wooden kitchen chair yet. I had to use a towel to sop up a lot of the eww.
How on earth does one get a poop pond all cleaned up?!
I disassembled the chair, took off all of the soaking wet straps and stared at it for a few minutes. I decided to take the top rack out of my dishwasher and stick the chair in the dishwasher. Perfect! As I started to put my plan into action, I had an itch on my cheek. This is normally not a big deal because by the end of the day my ponytail is loose and hair will tickle me. I quick rub the hair off of my face...
Instead of brushing away, it smeared...

Slowly, my heart fell. My supper started to come up.
In slow-motion the reality of my situation started to hit me.
I gently touched my cheek, praying for blood... Or boogers... Or anything else...
I looked at my hand and almost passed out.

I had poop on my face...

POOP ON MY FACE!!!!!!


Who cares about cleaning a chair??!! Suddenly I was trying to think of what to do.

Can I pour straight bleach on my cheek?

Should I use the hard dish-scrubber brush?

Would a Dr be willing to do a skin graft and just remove the whole cheek?!

My head was throbbing. My cat was gone. My baby was crying. My hubby was sleeping. My 3yr old was overly loud.

And there was poop on my face.

My face started to burn and tingle, as if my cheek was suddenly falling off my face from some strong skin melting acid that had been poured on me.

I cried as I grabbed the wipes and ran to the bathroom. After some very intense scrubbing and dry-heaving, I dried off my face and went back to the kitchen. I finally got the chair loaded in the dishwasher and then collected all of the poop towels and threw them in the washer.

Exhausted, I let Bug know it was just about bed time. The two of us sat down at the computer for a few minutes, while I vented on Facebook. (Yes, I am one of those people.) Then I heard a meow! Mayhem!!! Bug shrieked his joy right into my ear and flew off my lap to look out the window. (Now, keep in mind, my head is still throbbing and the intensity is growing... Also remember what I was wearing.) I opened the door to let the beloved, naughty fur ball in. He takes off around the side of the house. I follow in close pursuit, with the dog catching up quickly. We run to the side of the house, toward the road, then Mayhem goes into some bushes. Wrigley was barking, I was yelling... You know, because cats will come if you scream loud enough...

Did I mention Mayhem is all black? Well, it was dark by this time, so the only way I was able to see him was when he moved. Otherwise I had to trust that Wrigley was able to see him. After a few more sprints through the yard and around the house, I grabbed my cat. I shot up a prayer~ I was thankful to have Mayhem back and I was thankful that it was dark out, so that neighbors and people driving by didn't have to witness me running!

At last, the day was done. Praise the LORD! The cat was back, the pooped was cleaned up, Bug obeyed and went to bed like a champ, and Wee was falling asleep. I could finally go to bed and try to sleep off my headache!

As I fell asleep feeling sorry for myself, God reminded me of Psalm 127:3. I don't think He gave it to me as a "count your blessing" type thing, but more of a "stop feeling sorry and see the humor in this". I told God exactly how I felt right then and there... I'm thankful He is big enough to handle the words of an overly exhausted, overly dramatic, emotional mama!

By the way~ I slept great! =)

Chi-Town Anniversary

With all of the A.M.A.Z.I.N.G. weather, who wants to sit inside and blog? Not this girl! However, I did want to jump on and say hello.
The last few days have been slightly busy. Hubs is from Chicagoland, so we went to visit his family. Two of our beautiful nieces made Profession of Faith on Sunday, so we had a great excuse to head over there! =)

Friday was spent shopping for green clothes~ no, not green as in organic cotton... But green b/c we had NO St. Patty's attire in our house. This year it was uber important that the kiddos and I dress for the holiday. (Hubs isn't as geeky when it comes to "holiday dress-up"). The reason it was so important? I have a wee bit o' Irish in me! So... Why was it not important before? I didn't know before. =) My madre was adopted. We grew up claiming whatever heritage we wanted really, but this past year some of the adoption info was released. We found out some medical history as well as other physical bits of our mystery. Low and behold, there is a bit of Irish in there. Hubs said he wasn't surprised because I had to get my stubbornness from somewhere.
:::There is a whole long post I can write about my mom's adoption and the journey of finding our past, but that is for a day when I have processed things a little more:::
Anyway... Shopping was a success! The kids all got some super cute clothes, I got a fun shirt, and not a whole lot of denero was shelled out. =)  (...Oh!! I also got Chicka Baby some adorable snow pants for next year, $3! You can't go wrong with that!!) All day long Bug was so excited to go to 'Cago'~ it was stinkin' cute!
We left Saturday morning and went to Hubby's sister's house. (She has a boy the same age as Bug and a girl the same age as Chicka... Super chaos and major fun when we jam all the kids into the sandbox...) After some teary good-byes and a few tantrums, we went to "Big Papa" and Grandma's house. We played, we chatted, we ate, we went for a walk and then... Bed time!! (You know there are days you pray for bed time too!) The In-Laws let Hubs and I have a mini-date Saturday night because Sunday was our 6th anniversary!! We went to some small pub (on St. Patty's day...) It wasn't too packed yet... and... I got a FREE tiara!! I was SO excited!! (Ok, so maybe it was green and advertised an Irish whiskey... but it was fun!) We were back in the van by 10:30pm... Really? We have a sitter. It is St. Patty's day. I am now Irish... We couldn't even stay out until 11pm? Wow...
Sunday was wonderfully paced as we got ready for church~ We even made it to church on time! =) (This is a rare occasion, something or someone always gets lost while we are getting ready)
The kiddos did great for nursery, Bug even begged to go! Our nieces looked so stunning (and grown up) in front of the church! I wanted to cry, but I was able to control myself. (This is also a rare occasion.) The sermon was on... Marriage! How neato is that? It was our 6th anniversary and the sermon was all about marriage =)

I love it when God does special things like that just for me!

We had to head back home after lunch, the kids slept most of the way, so it was a nice, quiet, (and one more rare occasion moment) ride back. We were able to wrap up our anny with a nice bonfire in the back yard~ With a sky FULL of stars.
How beautiful!!

Semi- Crunchy What?

Semi- crunchy mama. You know, crunchy, like granola... Hippie, Earthy, Tree-Hugger, Crunchy.
I am a semi- crunchy mama. What on earth is "semi- crunchy"? Here's what the urban dictionary has to say:

crunchy mama
	Mother who supports homebirth, breastfeeding, baby wearing, cloth diapering, co-sleeping, gentle discipline, etc. One who questions established medical authority; tends to be vegetarian and/or prepare all-organic foods.

You can add lots of other generalizations to the list. Crunchy mamas practice elimination communication, homeschooling or unschooling. They make their own baby food, cleaning supplies, and home remedies. They don't take meds during child birth (or ever for that matter), they don't circumcise, or vaccinate. 

I am semi- crunchy, or at least I try to be. I have heard too many scary stories for a planned home birth, and I had my daughter without meds... But trust me, that was NOT what I wanted! I love nursing my baby, but I don't nurse my toddler. We cloth diaper part time and you better believe I clean those things; no diaper service here! I tried elimination communication (you keep baby diaper free and watch for clues that they need to go potty... Then you hold them over the toilet...) however, I gave up on that when I ran out of clean clothes and clean towels the first day. I wear WeeWum and Chicka Baby. I even wore Bug until I was 30 wks preggo with Wee. I co-slept with Wee until he was almost 4 months old, and I LOVE "family snuggle time" on Saturday mornings, when all the kiddos (and animals) are in our bed.

All of our children are up to date on vaccines, but we did "delayed vaccination" which means we held off for the first few months. If any of my babies are sick, I listen to my intuition. If I feel a dr visit is needed, we go. I do research meds and I try to find safer alternatives. (I made Hubby eat 1/2 clove of garlic for a cough once... The poor guy thought if 1/2 is good, whole should be better~ I do NOT recommend eating a whole clove of garlic!~ It did kick his cough...)

I make most of my own cleaning supplies and I'm working on a homemade shampoo recipe. I sometimes buy organic, but I won't give up steak. We tried to grow our own veggies, but I almost killed them~ Hubby had to save the whole garden for (or from) me. I hate wearing shoes, but I will wear them in public. Right now we are practicing "unschooling" (child-led, interest driven, self-directed...) preschool with Bug, but I plan on following a homeschool curriculum for kindergarten.

When it comes down to it, I would love to be crunchier. Alas, convenience and the current main stream, North American way of life, take over. Maybe some day my grandchildren will come visit their crazy hippie grandma! =)

How crunchy are you? Take the crunch quiz: http://themoralesfamily.us/granola.htm I got 101

"The Truth Will Set You Free"

It was 2 am. I was sound asleep, having wonderful dreams of shopping peacefully, by myself, at a fabric store. It was quiet and warm and all the fabrics made me want to fly. It even smelled like peace. I'm not sure what peace smells like exactly, but it was such a beautiful, calm dream. I could have stayed in that fabric store of my mind forever...

Suddenly bright lights invade my peace.

My husband throws the covers.

In one leap he is out of the room.

Someone screams.

My heart is pounding in my ears.

My pulse is elevated.

My breathing rapid.

The with all adrenaline flowing through my body, I fly out of bed, totally disoriented.

As I try to figure out what is going on, Hubby walks back in the room with Bug, our 3 (and a half) year old boy.

He is visibly shaking.

"Dat stowm scawe me!" He said through his tears. Slowly, the pieces start to fit together. The weather report said there was a chance of thunderstorms- Bug must have been woken up by the thunder.

As he crawled into the comfort and safety of our bed he told us that it was loud "out der" and wanted God stop the clouds. After a few minutes of discussing the fact that clouds are loud, but God doesn't want Bug to be scared, we prayed and then he started being goofey and "acting out" what the clouds were doing... (Did I mention this was 2 am?!)

A while back we explained that the loud scary thunder was God bowling up in Heaven. Bug didn't like that idea and was still scared. So we the next storm we had to change the story to God having a pool party. Still not good enough... We gave all sorts of Disney-type stories about thunder and lightening.

The fear was still there.

I was at my wit's end. How were we supposed to explain that thunder happens when clouds slam together?

That's when John 8:32 slapped me in the face "Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

"The truth will set you free"

We were supposed to explain exactly that. Thunder happens when clouds slam together. I used my hands to show Bug what the clouds do. Pounding my fists together in a very animated explanation. He LOVED the answer!!

Really? That's it?!

Yup. The truth.

...After the initial scare of loud noises in the middle of the night, Bug is fine. He remembers the truth of what clouds do and the truth that God doesn't want him scared.

He was fine. It was then just after 2 and he could have gone back to his room, worry free... But Hubby and I were much to tired to tuck him back into bed, so he fell asleep between us, whispering to his imaginary cloud fists.

Blahzay

That is how I feel a lot when I look in the mirror. Oh, there are days where I look and say "Shazam Girl! You got it" and then I turn on the lights, (Does anyone else feel super saucy in the dark?) or the hair falls flat, or the makeup sweats off, or Wee-Wum pukes on me. ~I don't care who you are or how you look, sour formula/ breastmilk on your shirt totally kills the hotness factor! There is a reason they don't market it as a perfume scent!

I decided to start my "non-frumpy hot mama" campaign. It seemed slightly daunting (ok, it still does). The first place I jumped to was my closet... I was going to stop the silly "I HAVE NOTHING TO WEAR!!!" mantra, while standing on a mountain top of clothing. I am totally the girl that tries on every piece of clothing I own, only to throw on the baggy jeans and even baggier t-shirt. A glance in the mirror always reveals the no makeup, hair in pony-tail, bags under my eyes, crazy woman look. First I tossed half of my t-shirts~ you know, the ones from youth group or walk-a-thons... Next up were the shirts I kinda liked, but would only wear if it was laundry day and if I had to go somewhere. Then I finally let go of the shirts I have loved forever but can't wear because they make me look like a bloated whale. That was HARD!! The cute clothes from pre-baby, pre-saggy days.

I honestly felt like I was getting rid of a piece of me. The dream of looking like that again, gone. Forever.

After the initial pang, I felt a little lighter AND there was now space in my drawers and my closet for the clothes that fit right. Awesome! =)

Cloth Diapers!!

I love the idea of saving money, going green, being different, and tapping into my "50's housewife" self. One of the ways to do that was... Cloth diapers! I was overwhelmed by all of the options and the prices at first. I wanted to start easy, so I called up my mama and chatted with her about diaper services. She swore by DyDee service from when I was itty-bitty. A Google search and some phone calls later, I learned that DyDee was still around! They supply it ALL; everything you need for cloth that is... You don't even have to swirl the poops into the toilet... Awesome!

Until...

We talked about cost. At that time I had an almost potty trained boy, a night-soaker girl, and number 3 was going to pop in a few months. The biggest factor for "going cloth" was the denero we could save. Having an amazing service would cost as much as disposable diapers, so that idea was out. I started researching and asking questions and annoying Hubby with all the info I was learning. (Some day I can go ahead and break down all the lingo and options, but not today)

Eventually I chose One Size (OS) pocket diapers. One size meant I didn't have to do the extra sorting for each kid, all clean diapers going into the same pile= easy non-sorting! Pocket diapers looked nice because you have the option of using it as a cover or sliding the insert/ soaker into the diaper. That means when someone isn't used to cloth, they just remove the whole thing like a disposable- more easiness!

I again ran to my good friend, Google, to find durable, affordable diapers. That's when the world of EBay entered my home. Piece by piece I built up my supply. I decided I would not pay more than $4 per diaper (costs usually range from $15- $25 a piece). It took about 6 months to get a full supply. I liked doing it this way because then I was able to ease into it, find brands that worked for my babies, and cut down on the whole overwhelming factor.

Fast forward to today: I still use disposable sometimes, but have cut diaper costs by $50 a month. If I crack down and use only cloth, we will save over $75/ month, and that is including the laundry/ water costs.

Did I mention how adorable Chicka Baby looks, with her booty in cloth diapers and skinny jeans?

Here We Go Again

I have decided to re-start blogging. I am able to get my thoughts and feelings out so much better through writing than through speaking~ Half the time I cry too hard to get the emotions out, just ask my hubby! Maybe this will be a place for me to sort my ideas, maybe it will be a place for me to write down memories of the kiddos, maybe I will share some how to's and maybe I won't. I've started a blog before and then life got a bit crazy. It is still crazy, but I need some sort of release before I go crazy! Let's see if this works...